About the (lack of) gentlemen of today...

And while I'm still awake, I might as well keep writing... covers my entries for the next few days!
 
I've just realised that I've met the only gentleman up to this point in my life... this is the only man I know who will open doors and car doors for me; always picks up the tab; goes out of his way to make sure I'm comfortable; walks me to my car even in daylight; among others. Yes, I've known guys who have done the above but not all of the above. He's from Singapore - the place some people call kiasu-land! And yet I have failed to find a single Malaysian man who can match his chivalry.
 
It's extremely rare to come across men with such chivalry nowadays, especially in this generation. I discussed this with a friend (who is my mom's age) and she said that back when she was dating, almost all the men she knew were of this gentlemenly type. I told her that almost the guys that I know weren't. She accurately pointed out that many of the girls today brought it upon themselves; their insistence on being independent, to the point of being insulted when a guy offers assistance, have turned guys off from making such offers again.
 
I'm not that kind of feminist. I believe in feminine independence and equal rights, but I still enjoy being a woman. I don't mean that I will blatantly use my 'feminine wiles' to take advantage of people - those of you who know me know that I can never stoop to such a level! What I meant was by being paid attention with such care and concern. It doesn't mean that I'm so handicapped that I'm incapable of doing things on my own. It means that my comfort is being taken care of. There is a distinct difference between the two scenarios, and you can easily tell. It's silly to take offense when a man is showing sincere concern for your comfort and/or safety.
 
However, I don't believe that displays of feminism is the sole cause of slow death of gentlemanliness (is there such a word?!). I also believe that it's the way some guys were brought up. Many men are mollycoddled and spoilt by their mothers to the point where they believe the world revolves around them. I've seen men who refuse to give way to women when paths cross on the stairs/hall/streets; men who let their wives carry the heavy load while they swing by with nothing in their arms except the watch on their wrists; men who don't even help unload the bags from the car after a shopping trip.
 
The first time I had a car door opened specially for me (and I don't mean by a valet) made me feel special. I think it's because it shows that attention is being paid to me. And which woman doesn't want attention? It was especially memorable because no one else had ever done it for me. (Waiting by the car door with an umbrella while it's raining doesn't count. That is done because it has to be.) Opening plain doors are pretty normal; in fact, some girls open doors and the guys walk through. Talk about role reversal! Admittedly though, it's nothing now for us to just hold the door open for our friends, be it guy or girl.
 
I've had male colleagues who would just watch me struggle by with a heavy laptop/projector from my car all the way to the office without batting an eyelid. I've had male friends who never thought of walking me to my car at night, leaving me to get there alone. Hey, I've even had a male friend who once dumped me in front of my house at 3am in the morning and zoomed off immediately without even making sure I was safely in the house (and incidentally, I was locked out of both house and gate then). These aren't only obvious lack of gentlemanly courtesy, it's an obvious lack of thought and concern. I'm a girl, and yet I'll offer help to friends who have heavy loads; when I send someone home, be it a him or a her, I'll make sure he/she is safely locked behind the door before I go off especially when it's in the dead of the night.
 
I lament the slow death of the existence of gentlemen... looks like it's on the endangered list too.
 
(PS: In case, some of you sour grapes wanted to tear the aforementioned gentleman with catty remarks, let it be known that he is intelligent and successful. You guys have a long way to catch up.)

Autodesk!

Well... after those frustrations of the earlier post, here's a lighter note :þ

I finally met up again with a guy from Autodesk, Paul, whom I first met 2 years ago while I was still in my first job. (For those who didn't know, Autodesk is the software developer for AutoCAD and related products, and my first and current job are in reseller companies for the abovementioned products). I lost touch with him when I left my job, and have only just reestablished communication.

Back in my first job, I was the applications engineer for the civil engineering + mapping solutions, and although I didn't know it then, apparently a lot of people thought I was good. So much so that after I left (when I left, I hadn't kept in touch with anyone in that line), there had been a few vacancies in other companies and they were looking for me... but I was MIA and they couldn't get hold of me. Including Autodesk! Paul said there had been a vacancy and he thought I could fill it up but my ex-boss had refused to give him my phone number. But now it's already filled. Missed opportunities! Argh!!!!

And to think that at that very time (only a few months back), I wasn't doing so well in my second job, and I was miserable and doubting my self-worth and wondering whether my career was heading to and whether I would ever achieve anything in my life. And yet there were people trying to headhunt me and only didn't offer me a position because I could not be located. I had left my first job wanting to leave the CAD line for good, but it had been a serious career mistake because I was obviously good at it. Well, I don't regret going through that short miserable phase, because I learnt so much from there... like what it's like to work in a badly-managed company, to work under a hopeless manager, to have endless nonsensical meetings about unimportant matters, to be chased about a skirt-wearing policy, to have people saying that I have a lot of potential yet at the same time doubting my ability to achieve. It makes me appreciate my current job even more.

Well, at least all is not lost. I have still a long way more to go before I can really succeed in this industry, but at least this is a line I'm more confident in compared to the security products line I was in previously. When I talk to customers, I feel that I'm actually trying to help them instead of trying to push an unnecessary overpriced software which they're going to regret purchasing later. I understand what my customers are going through, and I try to help them, instead of looking at them blankly when they throw unfamiliar industry terminology. My manager wanted me to be a "security consultant".... which would have been a blatant lie to the customers since my company is merely a product-pusher, not a genuine IT consultant. And at any rate I had no interest at all in security products.

Talk about quarter-life crisis!

Damn those line dance competitions!!!

Argh!!!!! This is going to be my first bitchy complaint online!!!! The line dance competitions are so @#&*ing screwed up!!!!
 
In case you didn't know, let me give a brief overview. In August, there are 3 major line dance competitions... one is a Malaysian Open line dance competition (organised by Hotel Equatorial Bangi), Nestle line dance finals, and the UCWDC Asia Pacific line dance competition.
 
Now, I have already decided NOT to go into the UCWDC comp because to enter, every participant MUST purchase the A* Pass which costs RM498, which includes all the workshops, whether or not we attend them. And on top of that, there is an entry fee per event entered. It costs a bomb... and I'm so not ready for the comp this year which is why I have decided not to go in. And I lack the funds anyway. Many of my teammates are also unwilling to spend that kind of money, so the only ones going in are those who are going for their own individual categories.
 
So for team events, my team had our eyes set on the remaining two... let me talk about Nestle first. In one of my previous posts, I mentioned that my team had entered the finals, and I personally also made it to the individual category finals. Well, guess what I found out... tickets to the event costs RM70 per person, which includes the dinner and line dance party. All very well. But EVERY COMPETITOR has to buy a dinner ticket!
 
It's so ridiculous! It was not something that was made known to us earlier and I only found out because one of my teammates had gone to buy tickets for her friend only to be told that it was compulsory for the participants to buy tickets too. If we don't buy them, we're not allowed to compete. Apparently it was announced during semi-finals but many people I spoke to didn't hear it. Probably because the horrible sound system twisted all the words the emcee was mumbling...
 
At any rate it's really stupid to force the participants to cough up so much money! In the first place we had already paid entry fees when we submitted our registration form... why the hell do we have to pay AGAIN to enter the finals? Shouldn't the dinner + party be an option for us? Sounds to me like they're just trying to fill up seats and make money from us. (No wonder ALL teams made it to the finals....) I argued with the organiser but they kept saying that other organisers do the same thing too. I pointed out that it's different, because in other competitions, they make it CLEAR whether or not participants had to purchase a certain pass (in the example of the abovementioned UCWDC) in the registration form itself. For this one, there is no black-and-white at all! Just some rambling of an incoherent announcer!
 
I don't blame Nestle... it is the event management company at fault. A real pity since it's Nestle's name that's being dragged in mud. The name of the company is Ming KH & Associates if you want to know.... The whole competition was very poorly organised. There was not enough participation (probably due to the lack of A&P) so everyone went straight to semis. And they didn't keep their word in the semis. You see, there's supposed to be a cash prize for the top placings; but what happened was for the teams, since ALL teams made it, they split the cash prize between all the teams. Same happened for the 10 individuals per category that were chosen to enter the finals. And now suddenly they're throwing this compulsory ticket nonsense at us.
 
And the people who were organising it knew very little about line dancing. They had contracted a well-known line dance teacher as an advisor, and yet things were so screwed up. Before the semis, I had asked one of the organisers several relevant questions about the competition but all I got were extremely (and I mean, EXTREMELY!!!!) stupid replies. They had obviously not done their homework and they were basing everything on assumptions. And when grilled to the point of technicalities, they kept saying that had to get back to us as they had to check with the said teacher.
 
And by the way, it was only announced during the semi-finals (after the finalists were announced) some changes; i.e. for the team events, we were recommended to change our song + dance, and for the individual events, we had to dance TWO dances (instead of only ONE as we did in the semis). And it was very obvious that the abovementioned line dance teacher's students had prior access to this information as many of the teams were already in practice for their dance to be used in the finals, as were the individuals for their second dance. I was one of the unfortunate who was not a student of the said teacher and now my team had little more than one month to prepare another team dance, and I have yet to find out what my other dance for the individual category it, which the event management company has yet to mail to us (and refused to disclose over the phone... despite the fact that I know for certain that some of the other individuals already know the dance and are already in practice. And here I am still waiting for the mail.)
 
Screwed up! That's all I can say!!!!!!
 
No, I'm not done. Let me go on about the Bangi comp. This is the major event I have been looking forward to the whole year. This year, they have contracted four popular line dance choreographers and certified judges (who are in a team called Masters In Line) to judge this event. However because of the time (in the same month there are 2 other major comps) and the price of the workshops, the competition has been receiving rather poor response. So the organisers who were initially thinking of changing it from a 3-day event to a 1-day friendly event (with several categories significantly removed) are now planning to CANCEL the event.
 
I was miserable when I got the news! All the practice for nothing! Now I have nothing to look forward to next month (the f***ed-up Nestle comp does NOT count)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no guarantee that the comp will be held again next year, and even if it is, I am not entirely sure that I will be able to participate. Anything can happen in one year. And I'm not only talking about me, I'm talking about my teammates too.
 
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Another senseless death

By the power of six-degrees, it turns out that Sonia Teh, mother of the deceased Kang Fong Heng, is my line dance teammate's friend's friend. The same way that I'm connected to Avril Lavigne via my brother's friend's sister's friend who is Avril's cousin. And that Sarah Marbeck who was involved in that David Beckham scandal, is the daughter of my friend's friend's boss. And that Noritta girl who was murdered lives in the next condo block to another of my teammates. No, I don't know the main people in question, but that's the beauty of six-degrees; I'm merely connected to them.

Six-degrees aside, it distresses me the way that human life is treated nowadays. We have progressed so far in technology, living now in what we call civilization, and yet we can still submit to the animal instincts that sticks around like cockroaches even after millions of years of evolution.

I know many people would say, "Hey, he did start it by confronting it." Yes, he should have walked away. Yes, he shouldn't have tried to confront 10-15 men. But no, he did not deserve it. No one deserves to be beaten to pulp, not for such a petty argument, much less be beaten to death. With 3 men from another car who are not even involved in the confrontation in the first place joining in!

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. And yet there seems to be a lot of pretty stupid reasons flying around. Should people die merely for being in the wrong place at the wrong time? A innocent schoolteacher was shot and died merely because she happened to be in the same area as a gun-toting lunatic. A lady, who was a good mother and wife, went into a coma and never woke up when her head smashed into the kerb while her bag was being pulled by a snatch thief (incidentally, I had a friend who had been at that very place a mere 15 minutes before).

So what are these deaths supposed to represent? I'm still trying to figure that one out. A death caused by a snatch thief leads to.... an awareness campaign of snatch thieves? Hello???? It takes a DEATH to realise that? Shouldn't we have been trying to stem this crime ages ago? It was rampant then, as it is rampant now. It was a crime then, still a crime now. So why wait until someone dies for it?

I still haven't figured out the other deaths that have been filling the newspapers lately. Well... the beheading of the hostages were really very upsetting, but at least there was a "reason", even if I disagree wholeheartedly with such a "reason".

Maybe it's a cycle. Maybe it's nature's way of dealing with the human overpopulation. With an increase in the types of endangered species and declining numbers of all other animals, there aren't enough natural predators to go around, so let's have that species wipe each other out. Who knows, that would enable the Dodo bird to make a comeback.

That would mean there's no need for Armageddon. We just need a World War III.

Barney's in town

The purple dinosaur is here in town! Personally I think he should be IN ice not on ice. Just wanted to share a song my brother came across a few years ago; it's my absolute favourite!

(Sing to that infamous "I Love You" song the giant oaf loves to sing on the show)

I love you
You love me
Let's get together and kill Barney
With a shotgun, BANG! and Barney's on the floor
No more purple dinosaur

Now, that's what I call a classic!